May 2011
2 posts
I'm old and stupid... Ask Einstein!!
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!Stranger: Ég er að fara að ríða þér í intell bumm u hefur ekki rassinnYou: Hi.Stranger: aslYou: Why? We obviously don’t speak the same language.Stranger: yeah we doYou: I see.Stranger: yeah i just got boredYou: You know, some of that is IPA.You: Interesting.You: So… I’m a girl. Hi.Stranger: im a male how old are you...
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Shhhh…
Stranger: hi!
Stranger: ã?
Stranger: what??
You: the walls have ears…
Stranger: o my god O_______O
Stranger: destroy them
You: with what???????
Stranger: a fucking basuca
Stranger: or a missile
You: or a leek?
Stranger: or a cook :D
You: or a very small dog…
Stranger: oh yeh
Stranger: you are...
September 2009
2 posts
She *damn* fine...
Connecting to server…Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about! You: bitch, get yo ass back in the kitchen and fix me a steakStranger: ok ok just dont hit me anymoreYou: i *know* i should’ve married yo sister Your...
He loves me.
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: im a 19 year old dude who wants to cyber. are you a horny chick?
Stranger: ……..
You: Your a 19 year old dude that cant get laid so your...
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: diamonds are forever
Stranger: but i did not shoot the deputy
Stranger: no no
You: no no?
Stranger: oh no.
You: methinks the lady doth protest too much
Stranger: gah
Stranger: yes yes?
Stranger: i say tomato you say potato?
You: I say a garden!
Stranger: salad!
Stranger: ...sandwiches
You: various italian dishes!
Stranger: hazzah!
You: hoorah!
Stranger: i think you are quite right.
Stranger: i am a sandwich artist, therefore i am omnicient.
You: I eat sandwiches, therefore do I eat god?
Stranger: at least his close personal relative...
Stranger: or his dogs
You: hmm, so are you plural dogs, or simply one of the assembly line of bi-breaded edibles?
Stranger: i am not the sandwches myself, my dear, merely the molder of fine pieces of art.
Stranger: you see, I don't get some bread and make a sandwich, the sandwich chooses me to brig it out.
Stranger: it is an art form
You: ah, I am enlightened!
You: what would it take to learn said art form?
Stranger: ah, it is a long and arduous process, young grasshopper
Stranger: one must learn to seperate his mind from his sandwiches
Stranger: and become one with the vegatables
You: but how can the sandwich be without the vegetables? If I am one with them, then I must be one with the delicious combination that ensues!
You: oh wise one, I am confused!
Stranger: be calm, all will be well.
Stranger: the sandwich artisan must learn to be one with the sandwich and to be seperate at once to make the creation before him
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
August 2009
18 posts
via fuckyeahlgbt
Stranger: age?
You: 15.
You: You?
Stranger: 16
Stranger: male
You: Male.
Stranger: nice, nice
Stranger: no homo
You: I see.
Stranger: u?
Stranger: lol
You: So you are a homo sapiens without the homo?
You: You are just a Sapiens?
Stranger: yep
You: That is absurd. :[
Stranger: lol
Stranger: I meant im not homosexual
Stranger: becuase you could take "nice, nice" in that way
You: I know, I'm just being a bitch.
Stranger: I guessed that
You: Oh, thank you. XD
You: Do you fancy mudkips?
Stranger: idk what that is
You: The game.
Stranger: never herd of it
Large mammalian species found on XKCD
Stranger: moose
You: elk
Stranger: deer
You: auroch
Stranger: what?!
You: A big extinct type of cow, you can look it up.
Stranger: no thanks
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
I proclaim my masculinity....by being a boy!
Stranger: hey ;) girl or boy
You: hi
You: neither; given that I got through puberty quite a while back
Stranger: ?
Stranger: Tht's nice..
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
'cause air is free
You: hi!
Stranger: is that because im black?
You: OH MY GOODNESS HOW DID YOU KNOW
You: HOW. DID. YOU. KNOW.
Stranger: im a magic black huy
Stranger: guy
Stranger: who also cant type
You: *shrug* and I'm an entirely nonmagical white girl who can't really type either
You: how are you?
Stranger: how many jew can you fit in your car?
You: I don't have a car.
Stranger: in a car....
Stranger: give up?
Stranger: depends on how big your ash tray is
Stranger: HAHAHA
You: I'm Jewish, just by the way
Stranger: gready jew
Stranger: why are jews noses so big?
Stranger: cus air is free
You: where are you from?
Stranger: does it matter?
You: it'd be funny, yeah
Stranger: this is omegle, i pled the 5th
You: this is omegle; honesty is the best policy
Stranger: then ur fucked
You: woo!
Stranger: ima monkey dinosuar from planet qlevorp and im .000000024 yrs old
Stranger: you?
You: disinterested.
You have disconnected.
u eva fuck a girl?
Stranger: heyy im a lesbian girl, if ur not , then disconnect
You: I am too, actually
Stranger: pic?
You: nope.
Stranger: how old?
You: seventeen.
Stranger: 21
Stranger: u eva fuck a girl
You: I'm committed, actually.
Stranger: is tht a yea
You: it is, but sex is for me and my girlfriend to talk about
You: (read, I am not telling you about my sex life)
Stranger: ok
You: so, where are you from?
Stranger: have fun in la land
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
This made me quite happy. Non-XKCD readers,...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: THE RAPTORS ARE COMING!
You: Help!
Stranger: uhhh..
You: I CAN"T RUN FAST ENOUGH!
Stranger: Sure?
Stranger: *saves the person*
You: *whewh* well, those asterisks took care of it
You: ultimate raptor defense mechanism
Stranger: yeah...
You: thank you, kind sir/lady
Pixelated Dreams
You: hi
Stranger: i just dont know what to do with myself
You: what's wrong?
Stranger: all i see is you
Stranger: what have i done to deserve this?
You: stared at too many pixels
How to disguise your gender 101
Stranger: no i was guessing you were
Stranger: like mrs...something
Stranger: like mrs..(last name)
You: haha, what makes you think that I'm female, or married?
Stranger: ms..
Stranger: i dont know
Stranger: guys arent usually into smiley faces...i could be wrong
Stranger: sorry if you are a guy though
You: no, you got me
Stranger: i dont mean to question your sexuality sir
More XKCD:
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: I’m 14, female, from USA. If you don’t want to talk to me, then disconnect.
You: I like children.
Stranger: ugh, so ur 20 somethin?
You: Not, 56.
Stranger: omg...
Found on the xkcd blog:
Stranger: JOHAN?
Stranger: JOHAN!
You: YES ITS ME
You: HI
You: :D
Stranger: Johan!
Stranger: It’s been forever!
You: i know hasnt it?
You: how are you?
You: hows jenna?
Stranger: …
Stranger: Jenna..
Stranger: Bad news.
You: what what happened?
Stranger: Don’t ever give Jenna a chainsaw.
Stranger: Because she’ll end up killing herself.
You: holy fuckin crap man! i told...
Omegle
From the website:
“Omegle is a brand-new service for meeting new friends. When you use Omegle, we pick another user at random and let you have a one-on-one chat with each other. Chats are completely anonymous, although there is nothing to stop you from revealing personal details if you would like.”
I’ve been using it a few days,...